The first day, part two.......

Hello, hope its been a good week for everyone, this is a continuation of my post, The first day..... I can tell you looking back now at the first day i was told i had cancer, it seemed to last forever. After leaving the doctors office with all my appointments in hand, the next two weeks leading to my first surgery would be filled with consults for radiation, chemo-therapy, and of course surgery. The consults were as if i was being put thru a assembly line, one after another they came, i even had to see a dental oncologist, everything had been covered except how i would deal with this monster emotionally, that would be a journey i would find out that i would struggle with alone. Two weeks went by fast, i attended a few family dinners and my sons graduation party, it had felt like all eyes were on me, it was quite uncomfortable, even though everyone was reassuring and sympathetic, it made me feel as if i was being prepared for my funeral. physically i hadn't changed, emotionally i was numb, sure i smiled and laughed and kept a outwards appearance of being strong, but inside i was scared, for the first time in my life i had thoughts not only of death, but a long, painful, undignified death, definitely not the way i thought i would leave this life........well, that's all for now, i didn't sleep well last night, again,so with that i say, thank you for stopping by, and come back soon, please feel free to post your thoughts, have a wonderful day......